chapter 6

Father began to stay away from the house more and more and I really missed him. Dad was hardly home he stayed away on his days off too. I remember the day that father left, I Mother had full control over everyone now. She was still punishing me in awful ways, but I always hold back my tears. I still can not figure out why mother punishes me the way she does, why can’t she switch things up and beat one of my brothers, that may sound really harsh of me, but I still can not figure out why it is always me. For one of my punishments mom starved me for ten long days. She would put food down in front of me say that she would give me two minutes to eat and then snatch the food away before I could even get a bite. I felt so weak, so helpless but I was not going to give up, I was not going to let mother think that she has won. One day after she took my brothers to the zoo she turned the cold water on in the tub and made me get in she made me keep my head below the water. It was so cold and I felt so weak. When I thought things were over she made me get out of the tub, I could not use a towel to dry off and she made me put my clothes on while I was soaking wet. I felt as if I live in a different world, like I was not good enough to be in the “good life” mother even let my brothers bring their friends over and watch me while I was being punished, I hated it. Nothing was never new I was always getting punished, whether I was sitting outside, throwing up or simply sitting in the tub with cold water, she even whipped me with the dogs chain, it hurt so bad, but once again I tried to hold it in because I do not want her to think she got the best of me. I have been denied the privilege to carve pumpkins with my brothers since I was 8 years old, all I want is to be accepted and loved. For Christmas the only thing I received was a pair of skates, mother got me the skates for another punishment she made me go out and skate in the freezing cold whether, I will always remember when mother went to the hospital to have baby Kevin. I was so excited that she was gone and father was there to take care of us boys... he made sure I was taken care of in good ways and another plus I was away from all the beatings, it is a shame that the time could not have lasted longer. I really just pray and wish that mother will change, but I know it probably won’t